Regrets

Since when are there rules about how much time you spend with your siblings? Just saying, when was the last time someone insinuated that you spend TOO much time with your brothers or sisters? I’ve dealt with this since Ally and Cooper were born.

To start, personally I don’t think there is anything more important than family. Especially your parents and your siblings. I can honestly say that I have amazing parents. I’m not embarrassed to say that my mom is my best friend. Both of my parents do what needs to be done for us kids and support us. So many things will come and go throughout life but it is your family that gets you through the change. It’s your family that helps you move on and become a great person. At least that’s how I see my family. I can’t think of one single thing that I couldn’t go to them about. Especially my Mom.

On the topic of siblings, Courtney, Michael, Ally, and Cooper are going to be my brothers and sisters for the rest of my life. FOREVER. How many things can you say that about? So why is it that some people think that I should be a part time sister with them? “As long as you are there for the important stuff like dance recitals, birthdays and baseball games” they say.

I was involved in every single aspect of Court and Michael’s youth…obviously the birthdays, baseball games, recitals, yes. But that isn’t what makes you close as siblings. It’s the time you spend in normal routine everyday life that makes you close. It’s the time you spend pretending, laughing, even fighting that gain love and trust. Talking, telling stories, realizing all that you have in common because you are family.

Courtney’s favorite color when she was 3 was yellow. She loved horses and pretending she was Megan from My Little Pony. When we would play house she hated having kids (baby dolls) but I would guilt her into having them telling her that they would be sad. She would then try to stuff them all into her dress like she was pregnant. I once convinced her that there was a little girl stuck in the drain pipes in the empty lot beside out house and that she needed to throw food down for her. We used to try and save earthworms by throwing them into water. When the sun would set at dusk and get really big and orange we would call it “Big Baby”. We used to watch ER every morning at 10 and 11 on TNT while drinking soup. (She only ever had chicken noodle and I had tomato). After we had seen every episode of ER twice we switched to Dawson’s Creek on TBS.

Michael’s favorite color was green (and still is). He was obsessed with Kirby’s Dream Land and Super Mario (Although he hated Mario, but loved Luigi). We once caught the toaster on fire trying to make cheese toast for our parents. I convinced him that there was a baby frog that lived outside our house named baby Fred and that he had to pee in the yard to make Fred happy. We have hilarious inside jokes about “calk” and “string cheese”. We use to go on Pokemon Journey’s through the apartment complex we lived in. He was Ash, I was Misty, and Courtney was either Sabrina or Erica. His favorite Pokemon was Raichu. The only thing he every REALLY wanted in life was a Vacuum Cleaner Choo Choo Train.

I did not learn any of this from birthdays or baseball games or dance recitals. These random little details are what have made them into who they are today. Tons of people have watched Courtney dance in a recital or Michael play T-ball in kindergarten. But that isn’t them. Everyone knows that Courtney wants to be an anthropologist and that Michael wants to be a physicist. But I know why.

This is what is important. Realizing that boys will come and go, but your little sister will only be convinced that she is a real life pig for a short time. School isn’t going to disappear but your baby brother will only like to dance to Barney in the playroom for a few more years. That is why I spend the time with these kids. I did it with Courtney and Michael and I’ll do it with them too.

Ally’s favorite color is pink but lately she’s been pretty into orange. She wants to be a veterinarian when she grows up. I think she will be. Her current goals in life include swimming with pigs, cleaning the oil off of the poor animals in the oil spill, and managing to not poop in the potty. Her favorite movie tonight is Lady and the Tramp 2. Her name changes every 5 minutes but it is ALWAYS “Baby Pig” before she falls asleep. She likes to snuggle. She’s afraid of trees, the waterfall in her pool and potty’s without flushers. She wants to go to New York City and see Elephaba dance on stage. She secretly loves witches. She likes Disney animals better than Disney Princesses. Her favorite books are Eloise goes to Hollywood and Fancy Nancy and the Posh Puppy. She likes me to tell her stories about daily life and often says things like “Sessa, you tell me a story about when I used the little potty at the mall and you was so proud of me”. She cries when I tell her stories about me going home to NC without her. Her absolute favorite animals are pigs.

Cooper’s favorite color is red (that’s the crayon or marker he always grabs). His favorite show is Mickey Mouse Club House but he really only pays attention to the final song, Hot Diggity Dog. He thinks Mickey Mouse’s name is Hot Dog. He will sit through an entire episode of Barney. He will watch horse racing on TV for hours. He calls his Pacy a “Ba” and his bottle a “Baba”. He loves to go into the cabinet and get the dogs treats. He is terrified of the ride on dinosaur in the playroom. He loves gluing things. He doesn’t like to read books. Bella is his favorite dog even though she is the meanest. His favorite things to play in the playroom are Wonderpets, Yo Gabba Gabba, and balls. When he is mad he puckers his lips and pulls your hair. Horses are his favorite animals. He calls them “Gee ups” or “Neighs”. He loves trains, especially blue ones. He colors with his left hand but eats with his right.

I will never regret the extra time it will take me in school. I will never regret not being dependent on a boyfriend at this point in my life. I will never regret not going out every night. I will never regret transferring out here.

I will regret waking up one day and realizing that I don’t know these kids. I don’t want to look back and regret not being their sister…their real sister who did silly dances with them, that knew all of their favorite TV shows, foods, colors, names, toys, and spent forever trying to figure out how to make chipmunk ears that looked real.

So those of you who think I am “missing out” on life and I’m going to regret it one day? I wont. Will you?