top 5 lies I told today: And the responses.

5.

Lie: You have to go potty before Shrek because if you don't you cannot be a REAL life Gingerbread Cookie.

Response: Cookie doesn't pee. It poops...candy.

4.

Lie: The Chihuahua's can't hiss like snakes because they have legs and snakes don't.

Response: I need some scissors.

3.

Lie: If the dogs eat your Silly Bandz they will turn into cows.

Response: Oh, Yea! And if they eat a pig one they will be real pigs! Okay! Here Max...

2.

Lie: Barnes and Noble does not sell drinks, just coffee mud that turns you into a Ogre.

Response: Oh, I am an Ogre! Like Fiona! A Pink Ogre. I need mud.

1.

Lie: Chipmunks really REALLY do have ears that look JUST like this. I promise.

Response: But Sessa, I'm a hampster.

Quote of the Day

Ally: Sessa, snuggle with me damn it!

How to entertain your sister...and yourself.

Since the Grey's Anatomy finale is coming on next week, my roommate Rachel and I have been more obsessed with our favorite TV show than usual.

More obsessed is probably an understatement since we are already unhealthily obsessed with the show and McSteamy as it is. I don't know that it's possible to be more obsessed than we already are. Seriously though, who doesn't love McSteamy? (Note to Grey's Gods: Lexie had seriously better love McStreamy like the rest of us on Thursday, because if she chooses Alex my obsession may be no more)

Anyway, on this rainy cold day in May. Yes, I said it. Cold day in May (being from NC I didn't know that this statement was possible) I spent the day being an AMAZING sister and building an entire playmobil hospital.

Obviously I had to set up all the people and the furniture too since Pink Toothless Dragon (Ally's name today) obviously wouldn't enjoy her hospital if it wasn't set up just like Seattle Grace. So... for all you Grey's fans out there:

Alex, Reid, and Crazy shooter in triage.

Meredith, Christina, and Derek in a trauma room

The waiting room

Bailey in the elevator

Arizona and Callie in Peds

Teddy and Owen

And of course, Lexie and McSteamy in the on-call room

Sometimes I wish I were 3 again...

Happy Mothers Day!!

Happy Mothers Day to the best mom ever, at least according to 5 kids... My Mom!

We tried to go shopping yesterday with two little dragons in tow. It actually went pretty well.

Jordan: a pair of white Joe's Jeans Capri's

Pink Dragon: Coach Purse, Coach Wallet, Tiara, insane amount of clothes from Gap.

Blue Dragon: Insane amount of clothes from Gap

Mom: Nothing

So today I sent her out to do her real shopping, get a mani-pedi, ect;

While she was gone...

I made the hungry dragons their snack before they decided to eat me.

While I was making their popped fish (popcorn) I gave them mish mash's to tide them over.

When I returned 2 minutes and 50 seconds later...disaster.

I don't really know why I'm always the one they poop, pee, throw up on/with. But they do. Maybe that's how dragons show their love. Who knows. Anyway, while I have heard stories of kids painting/playing/smearing their poop from their diaper all over walls/toys/floors/tables I had never actually experienced it. I knew Ally and Cooper were much too smart for this, I mean only dumb kids with no toys feel the need to play in their poop. Right? Wrong. Apparently it only makes the play more fun. It must be a boy thing.

I'll spare you the details and just say baths were needed.

While in the tub, pink dragon decided that while her brother dragon liked to mark his territory with poop, that she must figure out a way to do the same. Apparently splashing a gallon of water out of the tub while I am drying blue dragon off suffices and if this is the actual case, she now lays claim to the entire floor mat.

Back to the playroom with Clorox wipes in tow, I started the sanitizing. Only apparently even when I am in the same room, it's super important to try and destroy as much as possible. Understandable since they are dragons. Of course this would be the day that Pink Dragon would feel the need to turn nice and help her brother dragon...open magic markers.

(What?)


When is "Sessa's Day" again?

One of those days...

Today was one of those days. Not necessarily a bad day. Overall I'd actually rate it a pretty good one...but it was a long one. Definitely a blog worthy one.

Ally went her second night in a row sleeping ALL night in underwear. She's only been potty training for 3 days now so technically this means she's never wet the bed. This also means however that the sister who sleeps beside her rolls over every hour paranoid there is going to be a huge wet spot. At 4AM I finally broke down and slipped on a pull up without her knowledge. This however did not make the 3 year old dragon happy when she woke up dry...and in a pull up. So my morning started with "Sessa, I doesn't pee in the fairy bed." Eyeroll. Strike 1.

We got off to school early and she was in a great mood. She peed in the potty before leaving the house. She was stylin in her "vet" scrubs and Ariel crocs (which reminds me of a post I will write later about the many MANY things I swore I'd never let a kid leave the house in...) We talked the whole way to school about being a vet and taking care of baby dragons which is her future career for the week. We get to school early, walk through the door happy, and snap...trip on the scrub pants and face plant in the hallway. Strike 2.

I should mention that her teacher, a super sweet lady probably thinks Ally is bipolar with multiple personalities. Of course I am pretty sure every 3 year old has these tendencies, Ally is just slightly more...dramatic than most. She grunted, screamed, and hid in the corner of the hallway when her teacher asked if she were a doctor and if her name was Miss Piggy. "I'm not a doctor! No! No! I'm a baby dragon vet!" Scream. Two seconds later she is hugging her teacher jabbering on about how she will turn all the sick dragons pink. She also told the speech therapist who came to evaluate the class today that all of her pee and poop came out of her "centa" (placenta, she is convinced she has a baby pig in her belly because she eats ham).

Next we went to T.J. Max, Walmart, and Toys R Us where we decided to take a potty break. All was well in the world of the 3 year old dragon. She was even excited about using this special potty. The prospect of a possible prize along with a chance to play in a new sink...Best. Day. Ever. Only problem? Who knew that Toys R Us would have automatic flushing toilets? Who knew that a 3 year old would not trigger the sensor when Sessa stepped away? Who knew that potties liked to eat baby Dragons? I wasn't aware of any of this until today...strike 3.

Finally we came home. Cooper was napping like the amazing little boy he is. Ally was throwing a temper tantrum refusing to poop in the potty. All was right with the world. Kendra, our sitter left, Cooper woke up and so we went outside to play and wait for Mommy to get home. I decided that since Ally was having such poop issues she could just play outside without her underwear. After all, what kid doesn't have memories running around in the grass naked? Plus I really REALLY didn't want to clean out Sleeping Beauty underwear after she pooped in them and insisted that they were cleaned that second. Now that I look back, I don't really know what I was thinking. Ally, poop in underwear? Never. She's much too sophisticated for that. Why poop in your underwear when you can squat in the front yard and poop like a dog in the grass? True Story. Now, while most people would be extremely disgusted by this action. We were proud. Phone calls were made to members of the family, congratulations were given. The feces was even compared to a Caterpillar Cocoon and a Guinea Pig by the cavalier three year old. She even made up a song about how proud she was of herself for pooping in the grass just like her dog. It included the words "I pee in the potty and I onlys poop in the grass". All I have to say is good luck to her teachers at recess next year.

While making the appropriate phone calls to explain the pooping incident to our other siblings, baby dragon managed to slam Cooper's fingers in his cozy coop, narrowly escaping time out. Poor Cooper seems to get beat up a lot. Not on purpose, but being at that awkward age where you still NEED help with everything but you don't WANT it puts him in the wrong place at the wrong time a lot. You really couldn't ask for a better behaved kid, which is why I think most of my blog posts are about Ally. He is so good natured, snuggly, and mild mannered that it's hard to write anything about him that wouldn't make people gag. Even in a cast up to his thigh and a horrible cold he is so much more laid back than Ally was at that age... I love both those kids to pieces and completely equally, but for different reasons. Ally keeps me on my toes, but Cooper keeps me sane. Ally demands my attention, but Cooper seems to appreciate it so much more. Anyway point being that Cooper recovered from his finger smash with grace and without grudge. Even when his sister refused to say she was sorry.

20 minutes later. Cooper slams Ally's fingers in the door. Ally screams. And screams. And screams. To be fair, it definitely deserved screams, I know it had to hurt. More screams. Then the vomit, her secret weapon. She manages to throw up almost every time she is hurt or mad. Although I don't think she's actually ever puked on anyone...except for me. EVERY TIME. She never misses. We go upstairs to clean up and shower, the whole time she is screaming that Cooper broke her fingers off. Luckily fingers magically grow back when bubbles are added to bath water.

All of this...and it's only 6PM. Luckily the rest of the night was spent in the basement having a Toy Story ball fight. The two of them against me...you can probably guess who won. Here's a hint, I was trying to throw the balls INTO the bouncer...

All of that being said... I can't imagine a more productive day :)

I'm OCD, I admit it

Before reading this post, you are forewarned. I am extremely obsessive compulsive. Anyone who has ever seen my brother and sisters playroom or bedrooms is aware of this...issue. I really do label things for fun, separate toy plates from toy bowls, and set up Barbie houses every night before going to bed. So please keep that in mind when viewing this post. I am aware of my problem and while the 12 step program didn't work, I think Ally and Cooper greatly benefit from it.

You should also know I am obsessed with laminating things. It makes ordinary paper shiny and pretty...and therefore I feel as if everything should be laminated.

So now, Obsessive Compulsive Sister brings you: Ways to get pink pigs to bed, and then back up in the morning. I swear to you, this does work!

Night

I found these amazing little Blues Clues bedtime cards at NickJr.com. There are six two sided cards that cover basically everything a 2-22 year old could need to do before going to bed. One side displays the task in pictures while the other side says things like "great job". I found that the easiest thing to do is to laminate them (of course), and then stack them every night like a deck of cards in the order I want him or her to do things. Next have them pull the cards from the top and do the task. When they finish the task, have them flip the card over and move to the next one. Let me tell you, I've never seen a pig move so fast in my life. It's apparently like the greatest game ever invented and the bedtime process tonight was finished in 15 minutes.

Morning

I found these adorable Day of the Week clothes tags on my cousins blog,(http://glasspony.blogspot.com/) along with an amazing 4 step list of tasks to do in the morning. I hang the outfit for the next day out the night before with the tag on it. The list of morning tasks is hanging on the closet door, along with an amazing 4 step list of things to do in the morning.

And there you have it. The obsessive compulsive way to get things done. I do promise it will work however. If it works for Pink Pigs, who by nature are VERY stubborn little girls, I can't imagine it not working on any other child or pig or dragon.

More life lessons...

My 3 year old sister just said these exact words to me.

"Sessa, at night time the baby swims up into the mommy's tummy. Only when it's dark in the bed..."

3 years old! She may know more about sex than me.

The good news however is that when I asked her if she wanted a baby in her tummy, her response was "Nowa Sessa, I'm just a little baby pig. I'm the baby pig!"

So future warning: All of you boy pigs better stay clear of Little Baby Pig until she graduates college.

And whoever is giving Little Baby Pig this information, please stop. I do have to take her into public occasionally and I get enough awkward stares when I am yelling "LITTLE BABY PINK PIG! COME HERE" across a store.